You know when you look forward to something for so long. You hype it up and you count it down. Then poof! It's over and you're on the other side. For the past almost 5 years this looking forward to has been the end of a semester. Once I get to the other side? Well more school... but not this time!
I'm tyring to psych myself up for finishing college. I feel like I should be over the moon right now. Unfortunately class stress is not allowing me to feel the excitement. I want to be excited but its just not happening. I wish I had one more extra week wiggled in there to get stuff done. O well, I just have to make it work. I foresee many sleepless nights and tears in my near future.
But can you believe it...
2 forum postings
1 poster session
... until I'm a free bird.
I hope I feel the euphoria I have been looking forward to. But that's the problem you see. Once you finish one obstacle there's always another one to overcome. Maybe it's a matter of perspective. School was an obstacle there's no doubt about that, I keep forgetting to look at the future as an adventure. It can be hard sometimes as a 20 something graduate in this economy.
As I said to my sis, I just want a farm dammit!
As you can tell by my book selection lately, I'm trying to absorb all of the farm related info. I can gather. Specifically organic gardening, throw in some hens and a coop, with the possibility of 2 hives, some sheep, and some wabbits.
It's interesting because every author has a slightly different opinion and it clearly comes out in their writing. Specifically in terms of "farm" animals and what should be done with them. I just can't imagine butchering my hens and succumbing them to the seemingly torturous mating practices of roosters. Some authors say never to name your animals, only give them numbers so you don't get attached to them. I understand that in western culture we tend to humanize our animals but come on, if your hens are excited to see you and have distinct personalities how could you shove your unassuming hen into a crate, one that trusts you, and bring it to slaughter? I just can't imagine it. I think I'm off to a world of vegetarianism.
The authors do make good points in saying that all animals must die and with some circumstances on a farm you need to kill an animal in order to put it out of its misery. I am going to have to find a way to cope with these situations. I mean I know my dog won't live forever, but I can't ever imagine living without her.
So a post that was supposed to be about impending graduation turned into a post about organic gardening and farm animals, go figure. Well my end goal is to provide food for myself and hopefully fiber to wear and knit with. This leads into other goals of being completely self sufficient. How amazing would that be? Always something to strive for.
PS: I'm currently absorbed with (even though there are certainly other things I should be reading that pertain to ahem.. school!) The Vegetable Gardener's Bible by Edward C. Smith. AMAZING. I'll give a full review once I finish.
PSS: Continued frustration of not being a twin. I need my Lyddy to experience this end with me. It would just be so much better. I feel like I can't be excited because she still has a year to go! I don't know what it is. Maybe just the perpetual worry I have for my siblings and their well being. Hmph. Maybe she can find it in her to celebrate with me, that always makes me feel beter :)